april 22

i was kicked out of the music library they were turning the lights off, emptying the small listening rooms. from there i ran to the shuttle, wayne was driving, and i was late, ten minutes about. wayne didn't have to tell me to strap in, he went, and we breezed by ppr, and i ran up the stairs, cornered like i knew the width of the hall to the centimeter. melanie came down the hall, past greg's room i picked up josh, rat called and was at parrish, on the way to the matrix. we had ten minutes to make it. every green light was ours... i sped. if we got pulled over, i have no rearview mirror, josh is drunk and underage. we didn't get pulled over.

the movie was amazing. the second time for me. i got dark glasses today. i knew i had to go see it again. when they ran thru doors, they didn't stop and check the hall, they ran, and went where they had to go, they knew where. everything in the movie flows.

we get back and josh and i talk about movies, about which ones give us energy. they are the ones that flow, know what they're doing. it's familiarity. josh tells me about marching band... everyone moving at the same time. after a while, it all just works. how do humans do it? that's why i do tai chi... people moving together, almost like a trance. people connect. it's, in a way, why we run around with greg... when we go to his car, we move in a straight line, and nothing can stop us. we get there, and we know what we're doing. and greg knows the width of his car, where he's going, and it all flows.

it's what i'm searching for... the flow of my surroundings, the flow of my actions, the connections that lay beyond the bounds of our immediate perception that allow us to move in those mystical ways. the rhythm we all feel at the core. the resonance frequency. freedom? truth. you'll just know.