Being a slave to the Man (in this case, a seemingly benign corporate villain: Dave Thomas) for such a long period of time certainly gives you a different perception of the world, a view that you certainly cannot obtain from those resume padding internships that too many Swatties usually have. Nor would I limit this to people who have just worked at Wendy's; it would apply to just about anyone who has had to endure a minimum wage (or barely above) job that involves both 1) wearing a ridiculously tacky uniform, that you would never wear in public and 2) dealing with hundreds of customers in a day, most of whom are complete assholes, in a very public setting.

What is this view to which I've been alluding? To put it succinctly and in overgeneral terms, the average person is an idiot. The stereotype is that it was the people behind the counter of your typical fast food joint that are the ones who lack mental acuity. At the Wendy's at which I worked, there definitely wasn't an excess of intelligence among the people with whom I worked. But of the customers and the co-workers I've been involved with, the largest assholes, the biggest idiots, the ones who I truly wondered how they were able to dress themselves let alone how they were able to make my day miserable, were the ones I had to take orders from. I can't remember every incident; you have to deal with a couple of hundred customers a day and I must have worked about a couple of hundred days total. But here is a rough list of things I've had to deal with, about roughly how many have done this and how I would rate their ability to function within society:

· People who can't figure out the drive thru system. That is, they somehow figure out a way to skip the drive up menu, and just drive up to the first window and demand that we take their order there.

Number: about 40 to 50

Ability: Despite their inability to grasp such an easy concept, they usually have some sort of marginal value to society

· People who ask me why the drive thru system is set up the way it is. (In order to get to the menu, you have to drive thru this weird circular path because of the hilly geography of the area)

Number: at least 100

Ability: Although this question get exponentially annoying with each iteration (I didn't design the fucking place!), it at least shows some sort of mental activity on their behalf.

· People who order their meal and then after I place the sandwich on their tray, say, "Oh by the way, I didn't want mayo" or something like that.

Number: around 30

Ability: A great majority of these people would actually be yuppie-ish parents who couldn't control their kids. After I finish putting together their order, the kid would throw a hissy fit and the mother would say something like, "If you don't shut up, we'll go back home in our Limited Edition Range Rover SUV." But then she would give in and ask me for a plain hamburger. I personally think they and their kids should be shot and their sports utility vehicles destroyed.

· People who would, despite the fact that it's in the middle of the lunch hour rush, demand that I stop everything and make some more bread for the Superbar (They're hamburger buns dowsed in garlic butter. Give it up!)

Number: in the range of 50 or so

Ability: Not necessarily stupid, but definitely selfish. Sorry! Who am I not to put down everything, make the 30 people in line wait longer, so that you can stuff your fat face with garlic bread? Jerk.

· People who would order a chicken sandwich, fries, and drinks separately and would, upon telling them that they could get the same thing (or even more) for less money with a combo meal, still insist on ordering them separately.

Number: about 15

Ability: Not exactly what we would wanna-be economists would call "utility-maximizers." If they want to pay the extra money, be my guest.

· People who would go out of their way to stuff food in the seats.

Number: This one group of kids who went to St. John's Prep, a local prep school, who did this at least four times.

Ability: More than likely they're all in dining clubs at Princeton. I still think they're idiots.

· People who start screaming their order into the drive thru menu, even after I tell them to hold because I would be handing out an order to someone else.

Number: around 60 or so

Ability: Not necessarily outright stupid, but people who can't put together the fact that I asked them to hold for a second and that there might be a reason why I asked that.

· People who for some reason unknown to myself, jump over the counter and physically threaten me.

Number: 1

Ability: Who let this guy out of the mental hospital without his meds? My manager called the police, after which this guy booked it.

· People who asked me what the difference between a "chicken sandwich" and a "grilled chicken sandwich" is. Keep in mind, to eliminate any doubt, there were was a huge picture of a chicken sandwich, which was most definitely fried, on the menu next to the words "chicken sandwich."

Number: easily over 100

Ability: Truly a shame that they can't make such a simple cognitive association. My answer to this question was always: "The grilled chicken sandwich is grilled."

As you can see, I've truly dealt with idiocy of many different degrees. My opinion of the human race in general decreased considerably because of this job. I would like to make the qualifications though. Some would argue that I'm not "cut out" for the service industry. Possibly. But few are cut out to be able to enjoy being pissed on (figuratively) by idiots every day. Also, I'd like to say that the vast majority of customers I'm indifferent to and there are a lot of customers who treated me like a fellow human being i.e. they smiled to me, said "please," joked around, even gave me tips during Christmas time after seeing some asshole who yelled me about the temperature of his French fries. But these experiences were definitely outweighed by the negative ones.

But most importantly, the biggest reason why people do such stupid things is because of the "anonymous" conditions of the marketplace. They don't know who I am; thus, they feel entitled to drop any sort of social pretense and show their cavemen-like urges. It is truly a shame that so many people act like this in any sort of anonymous environment, whether it be with telemarketers, a driver in the next lane, on the Internet, or with other fast food workers. What we need in our schools today isn't necessarily more teachers or more computers but mandatory Sesame Street and Miss Manners columns on our children's' cirriculum.

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