WHEN Dr Slop entered the back parlour, where my father
and my uncle Toby were discoursing upon the nature of
women,-it was hard to determine whether Dr Slop's figure,
or Dr Slop's presence, occasioned more surprise to them;
for as the accident happened so near the house, as not to
make it worth while for Obadiah to remount him, -Oba-
diah had led him in as he was, unwiped, unappointed, un-
annealed, with all his stains and blotches on him.-He stood
like Hamlet's ghost, motionless and speechless, for a full
minute and a half at the parlour door (Obadiah still hold-
ing his hand) with all the majesty of mud. His hinder parts,
upon which he had received his fall, totally besmeared,
and in every other part of him, blotched over in such a
manner with Obadiah's explosion, that you would have
sworn (without mental reservation) that every grain of it
had taken effect.
Here was a fair opportunity for my uncle Toby to have
triumphed over my father in his turn;-for no mortal, who
had beheld Dr Slop in that pickle, could have dissented
from so much, at least, of my uncle Toby's opinion, 'That
mayhap his sister might not care to let such a Dr Slop come
so near her ****.'But it was the Argumentum ad hominem;
and if my uncle Toby was not very expert at it, you may
think, he might not care to use it.-No; the reason was,-
twas not his nature to insult.
Dr Slop's presence, at that time, was no less problematical
than the mode of it; though it is certain, one moment's re-
flection in my father might have solved it; for he had
apprized Dr Slop but the week before, that my mother was
at her full reckoning; and as the doctor had heard nothing
since, 'twas natural and very political too in him, to have
taken a ride to Shandy Hall, as he did, merely to see how
matters went on.
But my father's mind took unfortunately a wrong turn
in the investigation; running, like the hypercritic's, alto-
gether upon the ringing of the bell and the rap upon the
door,-measuring their distance and keeping his mind
so intent upon the operation, as to have power to think of
nothing else, -commonplace infirmity of the greatest
mathematicians! working with might and main at the
demonstration, and so wasting all their strength upon it,
that they have none left in them to draw the corollary, to
do good with.
The ringing of the bell and the rap upon the door, struck
likewise strong upon the sensorium of my uncle Toby,-but
it excited a very different train of thoughts;-the two irre-
concileable pulsations instantly brought Stevinus, the great
engineer, along with them, into my uncle Toby's mind:
What business Stevinus had in this affair,-is the greatest
problem of all;-it shall be solved,-but not in the next
chapter.