dreams: February 27, 1999



people can see through my mask

I am watching my face -- either in a mirror or looking back on a past time (like a movie). It is twitching, especially between the nose and mouth. All the muscles are spastic, but the expression on my face looks like I'm trying to pretend that nothing unusual is happening. By watching the visible twitching, I realize that other people can actually tell when it's going on, whereas I used to think that no one else was aware of it when I felt it.


eating food in Italy

Aaron Wong has just performed on stage (reading poetry? singing? acting?). We're in a small room, an intimate party. Lots of rich guests are here. People are giving Aaron money, peeling 5, 10, and 20 dollar bills out of their wallets. I hear an older man talking about a trip to Paris; he describes how he and his male partner went to a special restaurant (the name is three words, all starting with "L"). I keep talking about the Koran, pointing out things that are very significant to me.

Then I'm with a group in Italy. Alex Hanzlik is here with us. We are standing outside a restaurant that has a big open window in the front that looks into the food choices. There are many types of gelato from which we are choosing. The woman behind the counter scoops up a taste of lavender-colored raspberry gelato; a girl in our group tries it. Then the woman hand-feeds me a small spoonful of green gelato. It tastes very good, and I realize it is pistacchio.

We are now eating our dinner around a big table. There are small portions of gourmet food on my plate: the first course. One of the portions is a chicken dish with apricot-raisin sauce. I feel like I'm in a Mafia family. There is a large television set on my left, and everyone at the table is watching. It's making me frustrated because I'd rather turn it off. "We're in Italy, so I think we should be really enjoying our dinner, not watching TV!" I say. But as I say it, I remember that many Italians watch TV as they're eating, so maybe it isn't so wrong after all. I look at the TV. It has an old black & white movie playing. Marlene Dietrich is on the screen, wooing a male actor. She's dressed as a playboy bunny, wearing a black suit that reveals her bare long legs. I wish I had her body.

- FIN -



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