dreams: March 25, 1999


morning sunlight

I'm in a pool outside. Phoebe is with me. I look up and see the most incredible sunrise. The sky is pink and peach and golden, with the sun on the horizon.


anger at the woman in power

Mom, Phoebe and I are driving; we're in a truck, going along windy country roads. We have a bunch of bedsheets with us in the vehicle. Then we are at a therapist's house. She is going to give us (the whole family) help, and John is now here. The therapist is a skinny older woman wearing dressy formal clothing.

She has already given us therapy, but I know it was just a scam. Now there is another person involved, also a therapist. They are trying to charge us $575, insisting that we have to pay. I'm angry and upset, stubbornly refusing. I see the therapist selling bottles of wine and cheesy greeting cards to a young naive woman. She has somehow convinced her to buy several cartons filled with bottles of wine. I go into the kitchen and open up the fridge; it is pretty empty, only holding a few bare essentials of gross diet food. I see a can/bowl of cashews that look good. I take a handful, eating them as I walk out of the kitchen. I drop some on the floor accidentally but don't care.

The other therapist is a little old man. He's standing at the doorway to the living room. He is very short, almost like a midget. He walks over to the other side of the room and takes out his dentures, leaving his mouth without much of a structure, yet he still has some top teeth. I am very angry at them. I want to torture the man and woman. I grab the woman, pushing her head to the floor. I pin her neck down with my foot, which looks painful since I'm wearing stiletto high-heels. I hate her. I decide to cut her jet-black hair off, taking scissors and snipping off big clumps. I'm shocked to discover that her dark hair is only a wig covering her true hair, which is completely white. (Somehow she reminds me of Mom.) I want to hurt her and punish her. A lot of violence is going on the room, as the man is also getting beaten up. Finally Phoebe and I gather all our stuff to leave. I'm trying to find all my belongings to get out of here, but it's spread all over the rooms.


social dynamics around the creek

I'm at a riverbank. It's in Ashland and looks like Guanujuato Way, next to Lithia Creek. Now it's different, which I verbally acknowledge to the person with me. There are tons of skater teens hanging out; the whole strip is teeming with skanky youngsters. I look over and see a friend of mine filming from a hand-held camera. He's a good-looking young man with dark hair wearing all-white, standing on someone's lap -- yet he gets jostled and falls into the river when the person stands up. It makes me laugh.

A group of us are waiting to be picked up by friends. We're watching for the vehicle, a blue and green old truck with a wooden-planked bed, which drives by without seeing us. We realize it'll circle back around the plaza. It reaches us again, and we climb in. There are lots of friends inside: young cute men who look like models. I have a huge dessert cookie bar that I pass around for everyone to taste. Then I'm reading through the personal ads of a newspaper. There's an ad from a woman who's looking for another woman; it has sexy insinuations, including a referral to piping (like the plastic stuff plumbers use) for some sex act. Suddenly I'm doing 69 with some woman in the truck; I'm posed in a doggy-style position.

- FIN -


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