Thursday, March 26, 1998

RAMBLE IIII

i stayed after class in the beardsley art studio
til six o'clock this evening
listening to joni mitchell
and hot-glue-gunning cardboard strips
to my developing sculpture
that looks primordial and invented
at the same time

afterwards the silence in my brain
felt too loud and chattering and
strung out along my to-dos
like a telephone wire

i walked down to parrish
to check my mail
finding a sparkling surprise
of a postcard from phoebe:
virgen de guadalupe
as a popular mexican symbol
to add to my collection of madonnas.
it's surreal to think of mi hermana on her adventures
going to sleep in the middle of jungles
in a hammock
to the sound of monkeys.
she appears in my consciousness every day

i tried not to look
at the setting sun
as i walked from parrish to the ampitheater
but it was too captivating
like the yolk of a real farm egg
the orange light burning my eyes

i sat down with crossed legs
in the quiet ampitheater
on a wide level of mossy green grass
next to one of the towering trees
and appreciated the warm air
of the changing seasons
wondering why everything felt so chaotic inside me
when it sometimes seems like everything should be
simple and happy and unquestioning

so i closed my eyes
listened to the echoey bird chirps
felt my heart beat
tried to get the ani difranco song out of my head
took deep breaths of the leafy air
and slowly the clattery voices
verbal visual musical emotional attitudinal
tapered down
seeped away
so i could finally just
be

when the belltower rang its full bum-bum-bum-bum cycle
ending with seven of 'em
i realized that i had sat there in meditation
for almost an hour.
opening my eyes
i was surrounded by dark.
the tree branches above me
looked like georgia o'keefe's purple painting
that hangs in mimi's living room
with specks of stars

as i slowly walked to tarble for dinner
i felt the arches of my feet and the motion of my legs and hips
with nothing else running through my brain
but the present moment of my perception
i stood in line waiting to order my tuna sandwich
calm and mellow
and then talked to will about china
before going to the poetry reading in lpac's gallery
where i soaked up
the rich feelings (emotional & sensory) of mississippi
reminding me to relish everyday passions
inspiring to write this ramble4
even though i'm not a poet


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