ramble 9:
thursday, february 25, 1999

aimless child walking a circular path
hitting the same vortex
again and again
clutching the biscotti so tight
the burnt crumbs pierce her fingers
chocolate chips and pieces of hazelnut falling to the ground.

i look up at the moon
a steady point of realignment
she's looking down at me
telling me what i know but don't want to hear.
always there
the light never ceases to be
yet my little brain forgets
and searches frantically for her comfort

in the matter that crunches between my teeth
dissolves on my tongue
slides down my throat
sits in my tummy
binds me to the material world
of illusion
leaving me hollow and stretched
burning and empty
raw and numb
only wanting more.

zucchero, why do you hurt me so?
not only is the truth in the lua shining above me
but also in my heart
right now feeling like the size of a pinprick
like just one of the tiny twinkles of sunlight on the asphalt in the afternoon
even though it wants to expand
and shine back up at the moon
as brilliant as an estrella in recognition of my gnosis.

i am a star, i am a star, i am star.