AT the end of the last chapter, my father and my uncle
Toby were left both standing, like Brutus and Cassius at
the close of the scene making up their accounts.
As my father spoke 'the three last words,-he sat down;-
my uncle Toby exactly followed his example, only, that
before he took his chair, he rung the bell, to order Corporal
Trim, who was in waiting, to step home for Stevinus;-my
uncle Toby's house being no further off than the opposite
side of the way.
Some men would have dropped the subject of Stevinus;
-but my uncle Toby had no resentment in his heart, and
he went on with the subject, to shew my father that he had
none.
Your sudden appearance, Dr Slop, quoth my uncle, re-
suming his discourse, instantly brought Stevinus into my
head. (My father, you may be sure, did not offer to lay any
more- wagers upon Stevinus's head)-Because, continued my
uncle Toby, the celebrated sailing chariot, which belonged
to Prince Maurice, and was of such wonderful contrivance
and velocity, as to carry half a dozen people thirty German
miles, in I don't know how few minutes,-was invented by
Stevinus, that great mathematician and engineer.
You might have spared your servant the trouble, quoth
Dr Slop (as the fellow is lame) of going for Stevinus's account
of it, because, in my return from Uyden through the Hague,
I walked as far as Schevling, which is two long miles, on
purpose to take a view of it.
That's nothing, replied my uncle Toby, to what the
learned Peireskius did, who walked a matter of five hundred
miles, reckoning from Paris to Schevling, and from Schvel-
ing to Paris back again, in order to see it,-and nothing else.
Some men cannot bear to be out-gone.
The more fool Peireskius, replied Dr Slop. But mark,
twas out of no contempt of Peireskius at all;-but that
Peireskius's indefatigable labour in trudging so far on foot
out of love for the sciences, reduced the exploit of Dr Slop,
in that affair, to nothing;-the more fool Peireskius, said he
again: -Why so?-replied my father, taking his brother's
part, not only to make reparation as fast as he could for the
insult he had given him, which sat still upon my father's
mind;-but partly, that my father began really to interest
himself in the discourse.-Why so?-said he. N"y is Peire-
skius, or any man else, to be abused for an appetite for that,
or any other morsel of sound knowledge? For, notwithstand-
ing I know nothing of the chariot in question, continued he,
the inventor of it must have had a very mechanical head,-
and though I cannot guess upon what principles of philo-
sophy he has atchieved it;-yet certainly his machine has
been constructed upon solid ones. be they what they will, or
it could not have answered at the rate my brother mentions.
It answered, replied my uncle Toby, as well, if not better;
for, as Peireskius elegantly expresses it, speaking of the velo-
city of its motion, Tam citus erat, quam erat ventus; which,
unless I have forgot my Latin, is, that it was as swift as
the wind itself.
But pray, Dr Slop, quoth my father, interrupting my uncle
(though not without begging pardon for it, at the same time)
upon what principles was this self-same chariot set a-going?
-Upon very pretty principles to be sure, replied Dr Slop;-
and I have often wondered, continued he, evading the ques-
tion, why none of our gentry, who live upon large plains like
this of ours,-(especially they whose wives are not past child-
bearing) attempt nothing of this kind; for it would not only
be infinitely expeditious upon sudden calls, to which the sex
is subject,-if the wind only served,-but would be excellent
good husbandry to make use of the winds, which cost
nothing, and which eat nothing, rather than horses, which
(the devil take 'em) both cost and eat a great deal.
For that very reason, replied my father, 'Because they
cost nothing, and because they eat nothing,'-the scheme is
bad;-it is the consumption of our products, as well as the
manufactures of them, which gives bread to the hungry, cir-
culates trade,-brings in money, and supports the value of
our lands;-and though, I own, if. I was a prince, I would
generously recompence the scientific head which brought
forth such contrivances;-yet I would as peremptorily sup-
press the use of them.
My father here had got into his element,-and was going
on as prosperously with his dissertation upon trade, as my
uncle Toby had before, upon his of fortification;-but, to the
loss of much sound knowledge, the destinies in the morning
had decreed that no dissertation of any kind should
be spun by my father that day;-for as he opened his mouth
to begin the next sentence.