OBADIAH gained the two crowns without dispute; for he
came in jingling, with all the instruments in the green bays
bag we spoke of, slung across his body, just as Corporal
Trim went out of the room.
It is now proper, I think, quoth Dr Slop (clearing up his
looks) as we are in a condition to be of some service to Mrs
Shandy, to send up stairs to know how she goes on.
I have ordered, answered my father, the old midwife to
come down to us upon the least difficulty;-for you must
know, Dr Slop, continued my father, with a perplexed kind
of a smile upon his countenance, that by express treaty,
solemnly ratified between me and my wife, you are no more
than an auxiliary in this affair,-and not so much as that,-
unless the lean old mother of a midwife above stairs cannot
do without you.-Women have their particular fancies, and
in points of this nature, continued my father, where they
bear the whole burden, and suffer so much acute pain for
the advantage of our families, and the good of the species,-
they claim a right of deciding, en Souveraines, in whose
hands, and in what fashion, they choose to undergo it.
They are in the right of it, quoth my uncle Toby.
But, Sir, replied Dr Slop, not taking notice of my uncle
Toby's opinion, but turning to my father,-they had better
govern in other points;-and a father of a family, who
wished its perpetuity, in my opinion, had better exchange
this prerogative with them, and give up some other rights
in lieu of it.-I know not, quoth my father, answering a
little too testily, to be quite dispassionate in what he said,-
I know not, quoth he, what we have left to give up, in lieu
of who shall bring our children into the world,-unless
that,--o who shall beget them.-One would almost give
up any thing, replied Dr Slop.-I beg your pardon,-
answered my uncle Toby.-Sir, replied Dr Slop, it would
astonish you to know what Improvements we have made
of late years in all branches of obstetrical knowledge, but
particularly in that one single point of the safe and expedi-
tious extraction off the foetus,-which has received such
lights, that, for my part (holding up his hands) I declare I
wonder how the world has-I wish, quoth my uncle Toby,
you had seen what prodigious armies we had in Flanders.