-=-A B
C D E
F G H
I J K
L M N
O P Q
R S T
U V W
X Y Z
Proverbs and Sayings
Other-=-
It is a common delusion that you make things better by talking about
them.
—Dame Rose Macaulay
%
It was a book to kill time for those who like it better dead.
—Dame Rose Macaulay
%
You should always believe what you read in the newspapers, for that makes
them more interesting.
—Dame Rose Macaulay
%
The Puritan hated bear-baiting, not because it gave pain to the bear, but
because it gave pleasure to the spectators.
—Thomas Macaulay, "History of England"
%
The imaginary friends I had as a kid dropped me because their friends
thought I didn't exist.
—Aaron Machado
%
Expect the worst and you won't be disappointed.
—Helen MacInnes
%
To be alive at all involves some risk.
—Harold MacMillan
%
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the
world that just don't add up.
—James Magary
%
Oh, I have slipped the surly bonds of earth,
And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings;
Sunward I've climbed and joined the tumbling mirth
Of sun-split clouds and done a hundred things
You have not dreamed of—
Wheeled and soared and swung
High in the sunlit silence.
Hovering there
I've chased the shouting wind along and flung
My eager craft through footless halls of air.
Up, up along delirious, burning blue
I've topped the wind-swept heights with easy grace,
Where never lark, or even eagle flew;
And, while with silent, lifting mind I've trod
The high untrespassed sanctity of space,
Put out my hand, and touched the face of God.
—John Gillespie Magee Jr., "High Flight"
%
Once a newspaper touches a story, the facts are lost forever, even to the
protagonists.
—Norman Mailer
%
Tough guys don't dance. You had better believe it.
—Norman Mailer
%
I don't know what a scoundrel is like, but I know what a respectable man
is like, and it's enough to make one's flesh creep.
—Joseph De Maistre
%
'Tis an ill wind that blows no minds.
—Malaclypse the Younger
%
It's only words...unless they're true.
—David Mamet
%
If you educate a man you educate a person, but if you educate a woman you
educate a family.
—Ruby Manikan
%
Education then, beyond all other devices of human origin, is the great
equalizer of the conditions of men, the balance-wheel of the social
machinery.
—Horace Mann
%
It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without
your help.
—Miss Manners (Judith Martin)
%
Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we
can have some conversation.
—Miss Manners (Judith Martin)
%
There are three social classes in America: upper middle class, middle
class, and lower middle class.
—Miss Manners (Judith Martin)
%
You do not have to do everything disagreeable that you have a right to
do.
—Miss Manners (Judith Martin)
%
All really great lovers are articulate, and verbal seduction is the surest
road to actual seduction.
—Marya Mannes
%
In waking a tiger, use a long stick.
—Mao Tse-tung
%
Political power grows out of the barrel of a gun.
—Mao Tse-tung
%
Politics is war without bloodshed while war is politics with
bloodshed.
—Mao Tse-tung
%
Uh... deity is a word, and diety isn't.
Or is it supposed to be one of those recursive acronyms? Diety Is
Excellent To You. Deity Eats Icecream That's Yellow. Diety Is Eloping To
Yokohama. I'll stop now.
—Guy Maor
%
To leave a book is like leaving the better part of oneself.
—Dacia Maraini
%
We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police.
—Jeff Marder
%
Fashion exists for women with no taste, etiquette for people with no
breeding.
—Queen Marie of Romania
%
And so you see here Mozart could have just used his metaphorical Macintosh
to cut and paste this whole section....
—Michael Marissen, music professor, on the relation between the
exposition and recapitulation of Piano Sonata No. 22 in E flat
%
He was a really wild guy: long, greasy hair; leather jacket; played the
tuba....
—Michael Marissen, music professor
%
I hope you find this very rewarding, or at least I'll insist you do.
—Michael Marissen, music professor, on dissecting a Haydn
symphony
%
Money can't buy love, but it improves your bargaining position.
—Christopher Marlowe
%
Honesty is a good thing, but it is not profitable to its possessor unless
it is kept under control.
—Don Marquis
%
Pity the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.
—Don Marquis
%
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
—Don Marquis
%
When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask
him: "Whose?"
—Don Marquis
%
I believe that Ronald Reagan will someday make this country what it once
was...an arctic wilderness.
—Steve Martin
%
I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.
—Steve Martin
%
What is comedy? Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making
them puke.
—Steve Martin
%
Oh dear, I think you'll find reality's on the blink again.
—Marvin the Paranoid Android
%
A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going
somewhere.
—Groucho Marx
%
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
—Groucho Marx
%
Either I'm dead or my watch has stopped.
—Groucho Marx's last words
%
From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was
convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
—Groucho Marx
%
Go, and never darken my towels again.
—Groucho Marx
%
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I
go into the other room and read a book.
—Groucho Marx
%
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an
exception.
—Groucho Marx
%
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
—Groucho Marx
%
It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be
unhappy.
—Groucho Marx
%
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
—Groucho Marx
%
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
—Groucho Marx
%
My mother loved children—she would have given anything if I had been
one.
—Groucho Marx
%
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too
dark to read.
—Groucho Marx
%
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing; if you can fake that,
you've got it made.
—Groucho Marx
%
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well, I have
others.
—Groucho Marx
%
From each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs.
—Karl Marx
%
Reason has always existed, but not always in a reasonable form.
—Karl Marx
%
If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a
nail.
—Abraham H. Maslow
%
I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy
something.
—Jackie Mason
%
It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a
sickness you like.
—Jackie Mason
%
There are many of us in this old world of ours who hold that things break
about even for all of us. I have observed, for example, that we all get
about the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summer and the poor
get it in the winter.
—Bat Masterson
%
Son, someday a man is going to walk up to you with a deck of cards on
which the seal is not yet broken. And he is going to offer to bet you that
he can make the ace of spades jump out of the deck and squirt cider in
your ears. But son, do not bet this man, for you will end up with a ear
full of cider.
—Sky Masterson's father
%
It is bad luck to be superstitious.
—Andrew W. Mathis
%
There's a lesson that I need to remember
When everything is falling apart
In life, just like in loving
There's such a thing as trying too hard
You've gotta sing
Like you don't need the money
Love like you'll never get hurt
You've gotta dance
Like nobody's watching
It's gotta come from the heart
If you want it to work.
—Kathy Mattea
%
An unfortunate thing about this world is that the good habits are much
easier to give up than the bad ones.
—W. Somerset Maugham
%
Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have
nothing whatever to do with it.
—W. Somerset Maugham
%
Excess on occasion is exhilarating. It prevents moderation from acquiring
the deadening effect of habit.
—W. Somerset Maugham
%
I'll give you my opinion of the human race in a nutshell...their heart's
in the right place, but their head is a thoroughly inefficient organ.
—W. Somerset Maugham
%
Impropriety is the soul of wit.
—W. Somerset Maugham
%
It was such a lovely day I thought it a pity to get up.
—W. Somerset Maugham
%
It wasn't until late in life that I discovered how easy it is to say "I
don't know."
—W. Somerset Maugham
%
It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the
best, you very often get it.
—W. Somerset Maugham
%
Love is only the dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the
species.
—W. Somerset Maugham
%
People ask for criticism, but they only want praise.
—W. Somerset Maugham
%
She had a pretty gift for quotation, which is a serviceable substitute for
wit.
—W. Somerset Maugham
%
There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows
what they are.
—W. Somerset Maugham
%
I feel like a fugitive from the law of averages.
—William Henry Mauldin
%
To be witty is not enough. One must possess sufficient wit to avoid having
too much of it.
—André Maurois
%
Despising machines to a man,
The Luddites joined up with the Klan,
And ride out by night
In a sheeting of white
To lynch all the robots they can.
—C. M. and G. A. Maxson
%
It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in argument.
—William Gibbs McAdoo
%
If there is one thing more than another that wears me down it's being
brilliant.
—Henry McBride
%
Any clod can have the facts, but having opinions is an art.
—Charles McCabe
%
McCabe's Law: Nobody has to do anything.
—Charles McCabe
%
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
—Charlie McCarthy
%
If someone tells you he is going to make "a realistic decision," you
immediately understand that he is going to do something bad.
—Mary McCarthy
%
People with bad consciences always fear the judgment of children.
—Mary McCarthy
%
Irrigation of the land with seawater desalinated by fusion power is
ancient. It's called "rain."
—Michael McClary, in alt.fusion
%
Blast medicine anyway! We've learned to tie into every organ in the human
body but one. The brain! The brain is what life is all about.
—Dr. McCoy, "The Menagerie," "Star Trek"
%
Compassion—that's the one things no machine ever had. Maybe it's the
one thing that keeps men ahead of them.
—Dr. McCoy, "The Ultimate Computer," "Star Trek"
%
He's dead, Jim.
—Dr. McCoy, "The Devil in the Dark," "Star Trek"
%
I know engineers. They love to change things.
—Dr. McCoy
%
I'm a doctor, not a mechanic.
—Dr. McCoy, "The Doomsday Machine," "Star Trek," when asked if he
had heard of the idea of a doomsday machine
%
I'm a doctor, not an escalator.
—Dr. McCoy, "Friday's Child," "Star Trek," when asked to help the
very pregnant Ellen up a steep incline
%
I'm a doctor, not a bricklayer.
—Dr. McCoy, "Devil in the Dark," "Star Trek," when asked to patch
up the Horta
%
I'm a doctor, not an engineer.
—Dr. McCoy, "Mirror, Mirror," "Star Trek," when asked by Scotty
for help in Engineering
%
I'm a doctor, not a coalminer.
—Dr. McCoy, "The Empath," "Star Trek," on being beneath the
surface of Minara 2
%
I'm a surgeon, not a psychiatrist.
—Dr. McCoy, "City on the Edge of Forever," "Star Trek," on Edith
Keeler's remark that Kirk talked strangely
%
I'm no magician, Spock, just an old country doctor.
—Dr. McCoy, "The Deadly Years," "Star Trek," while trying to cure
the aging effects of the rogue comet near Gamma Hydra 4
%
It is a human characteristic to love little animals, especially if they're
attractive in some way.
—Dr. McCoy, "The Trouble with Tribbles," "Star Trek"
%
You can't evaluate a man by logic alone.
—Dr. McCoy, "I, Mudd," "Star Trek"
%
What am I, a doctor or a moonshuttle conductor?
—Dr. McCoy, "The Corbomite Maneuver," "Star Trek," when Kirk
rushed off from a physical exam to answer the alert
%
Of all you learn here remember this the best:
Don't hurt each other and clean up your mess
Take a nap every day, wash before you eat
Hold hands, stick together,
Look before you cross the street.
—John McCutcheon
%
Practical people would be more practical if they would take a little more
time for dreaming.
—J. P. McEvoy
%
Now that I've proved my femininity...
—Robert McFarland '02
%
The early bird who catches the worm works for someone who comes in late
and owns the worm farm.
—Travis McGee
%
Getting along with men isn't what's truly important. The vital knowledge
is how to get along with one man.
—Phyllis McGinley
%
A still tongue makes a happy life.
—Patrick McGoohan (Number 6 in "The Prisoner")
%
Music makes a quiet mind.
—Patrick McGoohan (Number 6 in "The Prisoner")
%
Questions are a burden to others; answers are a prison for oneself.
—Patrick McGoohan (Number 6 in "The Prisoner")
%
Oh, that sound of male ego. You travel halfway across the galaxy and it's
still the same song.
—Eve McHuron, "Mudd's Women," "Star Trek"
%
I'm not sure I want popular opinion on my side—I've noticed those
with the most opinions often have the fewest facts.
—Bethania McKenstry
%
I like to assume that since I drive a car and maintain a respectable
credit rating and rarely murder anyone and bury them in the back garden
unless they really deserve it, that the fact that I hear voices wonąt
unduly disturb anyone.
—Robin McKinley
%
The magic in that country was so thick and tenacious that it settled over
the land like chalk-dust and over floors and shelves like slightly sticky
plaster-dust. (Housecleaners in that country earned unusually good
wages.) If you lived in that country, you had to de-scale your kettle of
its encrustation of magic at least once a week, because if you didn't, you
might find yourself pouring hissing snakes or pond slime into your teapot
instead of water.
—Robin McKinley, "Spindle's End"
%
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the
same person.
—Mignon McLaughlin
%
In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus
one equals nothing.
—Mignon McLaughlin
%
No one really listens to anyone else, and if you try it for a while you'll
see why.
—Mignon McLaughlin
%
The head never rules the heart, but just becomes its partner in crime.
—Mignon McLaughlin
%
I don't necessarily agree with everything I say.
—Marshall McLuhan
%
My magic would be verisimilitudinous.
—Elise McMullin
%
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy
computers.
—Edward Shepherd Mead
%
Having two bathrooms ruined the capacity to co-operate.
—Margaret Mead
%
We have nowhere else to go...this is all we have.
—Margaret Mead
%
As I was walking up the stair I met a man who wasn't there.
He wasn't there again today. I wish, I wish he'd stay away.
—Hughes Mearns
%
The human mind treats a new idea the way the body treats a strange
protein—it rejects it.
—P. Medawar
%
Thongs are against the ethos of life.
—Liz Meehan '01
%
Unitarian weddings tend to be high on the music and low on the God.
—Samira Mehta '00
%
Don't be humble... you're not that great.
—Golda Meir
%
The people here [in Nicaragua] are amazingly friendly, when you figure
we're here to overthrow their government.
—Richard Melton, US Ambassador to Nicaragua
%
At times discretion should be thrown aside, and with the foolish we should
play the fool.
—Menander
%
A celebrity is one who is known to many persons he is glad he doesn't
know.
—H. L. Mencken
%
A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.
—H. L. Mencken
%
A politician is an animal which can sit on a fence and yet keep both ears
to the ground.
—H. L. Mencken
%
After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known
quotations.
—H. L. Mencken
%
All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit
it. I myself deny it.
—H. L. Mencken
%
An idealist is one who, on noticing that roses smell better than a
cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup.
—H. L. Mencken
%
Conscience is the inner voice that warns us that someone might be
looking.
—H. L. Mencken
%
Democracy is only a dream: it should be put in the same category as
Arcadia, Santa Claus, and Heaven.
—H. L. Mencken
%
Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey
cage.
—H. L. Mencken
%
Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want and
deserve to get it good and hard.
—H. L. Mencken
%
Don't overestimate the decency of the human race.
—H. L. Mencken
%
Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of
the improbable.
—H. L. Mencken
%
For every problem there is one solution which is simple, neat, and
wrong.
—H. L. Mencken
%
I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is
largely a waste of time.
—H. L. Mencken
%
I never lecture, not because I am shy or a bad speaker, but simply because
I detest the sort of people who go to lectures and don't want to meet
them.
—H. L. Mencken
%
It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended
from man.
—H. L. Mencken
%
It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or
golf.
—H. L. Mencken
%
It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of
common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever
ineligible for public office.
—H. L. Mencken
%
It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid pregnancy by a resort
to mathematics, though she is still forbidden to resort to physics and
chemistry.
—H. L. Mencken
%
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
—H. L. Mencken
%
Man is always looking for someone to boast to; woman is always looking for
a shoulder to put her head on.
—H. L. Mencken
%
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an
institution?
—H. L. Mencken
%
Most people are unable to write because they are unable to think, and they
are unable to think because they congenitally lack the equipment to do so,
just as they congenitally lack the equipment to fly over the moon.
—H. L. Mencken
%
Nine times out of ten, in the arts as in life, there is actually no truth
to be discovered; there is only error to be exposed.
—H. L. Mencken
%
Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American
public.
—H. L. Mencken
%
Puritanism: the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
—H. L. Mencken
%
The basic fact about human existence is not that it is a tragedy, but that
it is a bore.
—H. L. Mencken
%
The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly
greater than that of any other animal.
—H. L. Mencken
%
The chief value of money lies in the fact that one lives in a world in
which it is overestimated.
—H. L. Mencken
%
The most costly of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably
not true. It is the chief occupation of mankind.
—H. L. Mencken
%
The older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age
brings wisdom.
—H. L. Mencken
%
The only really happy folk are married women and single men.
—H. L. Mencken
%
The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were
not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.
—H. L. Mencken
%
Time is the great legalizer, even in the field of morals.
—H. L. Mencken
%
Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to
prove that the other party is unfit to rule—and both commonly
succeed, and are right.
—H. L. Mencken
%
Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice
as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages.
—H. L. Mencken
%
We are here and it is now. Further than that all human knowledge is
moonshine.
—H. L. Mencken
%
When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands.
—H. L. Mencken
%
Dignity is like a flag. It flaps in a storm.
—Roy Mengot
%
It is the doom of men that they forget.
—Merlin
%
If a putt passes over the hole without dropping, it is deemed to have
dropped. The law of gravity holds that any object attempting to maintain a
position in the atmosphere without something to support it must drop. The
law of gravity supersedes the law of golf.
—Donald A. Metz
%
Lord, grant that I may always desire more than I can accomplish.
—Michelangelo
%
An age is called Dark not because the light fails to shine, but because
people refuse to see it.
—James Michener
%
Someone's been mean to you! Tell me who it is, so I can punch him
tastefully.
—Ralph Bakshi's Mighty Mouse
%
Where you stand depends on where you sit.
—Rufus Miles
%
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are
conservatives.
—John Stuart Mill
%
He who knows only his own side of the case knows little of that.
—John Stuart Mill
%
After all my erstwhile dear,
My no longer cherished,
Need we say it was not love,
Just because it perished?
—Edna St. Vincent Millay
%
Peace
Is the temporary beautiful ignorance that War
Somewhere progresses.
—Edna St. Vincent Millay
%
Exceptions prove the rule, and wreck the budget.
—Miller
%
The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later you're
hungry again.
—George Miller
%
Chaos is the score upon which reality is written.
—Henry Miller
%
Confusion is a word we have invented for an order which is not
understood.
—Henry Miller
%
There is no salvation in becoming adapted to a world which is crazy.
—Henry Miller
%
...caffeine-free diet coke, which, as Megan describes it, is basically
water that sat next to the coke bottling machines for a few seconds...
—Larry Miller '9?
%
Most conversations are simply monologues delivered in the presence of a
witness.
—Margaret Miller
%
You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could
know how seldom they do.
—Olin Miller
%
It's a very funny thought that, if Bears were Bees,
They'd build their nests at the bottom of trees.
And that being so (if the Bees were Bears),
We shouldn't have to climb up all these stairs.
—A. A. Milne
%
One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making
exciting discoveries.
—A. A. Milne
%
Better to reign in hell than serve in heav'n.
—John Milton
%
Truth never comes into the world but like a bastard, to the ignominy of
him that brought her birth.
—John Milton
%
Reality is something you rise above.
—Liza Minnelli
%
After 35 years, I have finished a comprehensive study of European
comparative law. In Germany, under the law, everything is prohibited,
except that which is permitted. In France, under the law, everything is
permitted, except that which is prohibited. In the Soviet Union, under the
law, everything is prohibited, including that which is permitted. And in
Italy, under the law, everything is permitted, especially that which is
prohibited.
—Newton Minow
%
We've gotten to the point where everybody's got a right and nobody's got a
responsibility.
—Newton Minow
%
A kiss can be a comma, a question mark, or an exclamation point. That's
the basic spelling that every woman ought to know.
—Mistinguette
%
Until you've lost your reputation, you never realize what a burden it
was.
—Margaret Mitchell
%
To fall in love you have to be in the state of mind for it to take, like a
disease.
—Nancy Mitford
%
Generally speaking, the Way of the warrior is resolute acceptance of
death.
—Miyamoto Musashi, 1645
%
A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his
suspicions.
—Wilson Mizner
%
A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets
to know something.
—Wilson Mizner
%
Be nice to people on the way up, because you'll meet them on your way
down.
—Wilson Mizner
%
Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.
—Wilson Mizner
%
God help those who do not help themselves.
—Wilson Mizner
%
I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education.
—Wilson Mizner
%
Some of the greatest love affairs I've known have involved one actor,
unassisted.
—Wilson Mizner
%
Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up.
—Wilson Mizner
%
To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.
—Wilson Mizner
%
If you see something about this big, with eight legs, coming towards you,
let me know—I have to kill it before it develops language skills.
—Londo Molari, "Babylon 5"
%
That must be wonderful: I don't understand it at all.
—Moliere
%
When someone blunders, we say that he makes a misstep. Is it then not
clear that all the ills of mankind, all the tragic misfortunes that fill
our history books, all the political blunders, all the failures of the
great leaders have arisen merely from a lack of skill in dancing.
—Moliere
%
I don't mind living in a man's world as long as I can be a woman in
it.
—Marilyn Monroe
%
I have too many fantasies to be a housewife. I guess I am a fantasy.
—Marilyn Monroe
%
I've been on a calendar, but never on time.
—Marilyn Monroe
%
Civility costs nothing, and buys everything.
—Lady Mary Wortley Montagu
%
I prefer liberty to chains of diamonds.
—Lady Mary Wortley Montagu
%
Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget
it.
—Montaigne
%
Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in,
and those inside equally desperate to get out.
—Michel de Montaigne
%
The value of life lies not in the length of days, but in the use we make
of them...Whether you find satisfaction in life depends not on your tale
of years, but on your will.
—Michel de Montaigne
%
Those who compared our life to a dream were right....We sleeping wake, and
waking sleep.
—Michel de Montaigne
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An author is a fool who, not content with boring those he lives with,
insists on boring future generations.
—Charles de Montesquieu
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High Priest: Armaments Chapter One, verses nine through
twenty-seven.
Bro. Maynard: And Saint Attila raised the Holy Hand Grenade up on
high saying, "Oh Lord, Bless us this Holy Hand Grenade, and with it
smash our enemies to tiny bits." And the Lord did grin, and the people
did feast upon the lambs, and stoats, and orangutans, and breakfast
cereals, and lima bean—
High Priest: Skip a bit, brother.
Bro. Maynard: And then the Lord spake, saying: "First, shalt thou
take out the holy pin. Then shalt thou count to three. No more, no
less. Three shall be the number of the counting, and the number of
the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, and neither
count thou two, excepting that thou then goest on to three. Five is RIGHT
OUT. Once the number three, being the third number be reached, then
lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade towards thy foe, who, being naughty in
my sight, shall snuff it. Amen.
All: Amen.
—Monty Python, "The Holy Hand Grenade"
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Bravely
bold Sir Robin
Brought forth from Camelot.
He was not afraid to die,
Oh, brave Sir Robin!
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways.
Brave, brave, brave Sir Robin.
—Monty Python
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Hello good evening and welcome, to BLACKMAIL! Yes, it's another edition of
the game in which you can play with yourself.
—Monty Python
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This parrot is no more. It has ceased to be. It's expired and gone to meet
its maker. This is a late parrot. It's a stiff. Bereft of life, it rests
in peace. If you hadn't nailed it to the perch, it would be pushing up the
daisies. It's rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. This
is an ex-parrot.
—Monty Python
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"You are all individuals!"
"WE ARE ALL INDIVIDUALS!!!!!"
"I'm not!"
—Monty Python, "The Life of Brian"
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Horace's best ode would not please a young woman as much as the mediocre
verses of the young man she is in love with.
—Moore
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It does not matter how badly you paint so long as you don't paint badly
like other people.
—George Moore
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I enjoy being a highly overpaid actor.
—Roger Moore
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California, n.: From Latin "calor", meaning "heat" (as in English
"calorie" or Spanish "caliente"); and "fornia" for "sexual intercourse" or
"fornication." Hence: Tierra de California, "the land of hot sex."
—Ed Moran
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Absence in love is like water upon fire; a little quickens, but much
extinguishes it.
—Hannah More
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Going to the opera, like getting drunk, is a sin that carries its own
punishment with it.
—Hannah More
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Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off
the goal.
—Hannah More
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A cardiac patient named Fred
Made a limerick up in his head.
But before he had time
To write down the last line
—Elliott Moreton
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A kleptomaniac is a person who helps himself because he can't help
himself.
—Henry Morgan
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Don't accept rides from strange men, and remember that all men are
strange.
—Robin Morgan
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My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not
signed.
—Christopher Morley
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Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it.
—Christopher Morley
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Only the sinner has the right to preach.
—Christopher Morley
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There is only one success, to be able to spend your life in your own
way.
—Christopher Morley
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You have not converted a man because you have silenced him.
—John Viscount Morley
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Anyone who works is a fool. I don't work—I merely inflict myself upon
the public.
—Robert Morley
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The city is not a concrete jungle, it is a human zoo.
—Desmond Morris
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With the arrogance of youth, I determined to do no less than to transform
the world with Beauty. If I have succeeded in some small way, if only in
one small corner of the world, amongst the men and women I love, then I
shall count myself blessed, and blessed, and blessed, and the work goes
on.
—William Morris
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Any party which takes credit for the rain must not be surprised if its
opponents blame it for the drought.
—Dwight Morrow
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Art is much less important than life, but what a poor life without it.
—Robert Motherwell
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We are each entitled to our own opinion, but no one is entitled to his own
facts.
—Patrick Moynihan
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Behind every great man, there is a woman—urging him on.
—Harry Mudd, "I, Mudd," "Star Trek"
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Knowledge, sir, should be free to all!
—Harry Mudd, "I, Mudd," "Star Trek"
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Men will always be men—no matter where they are.
—Harry Mudd, "Mudd's Women," "Star Trek"
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The clearest way into the Universe is through a forest wilderness.
—John Muir
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Our national flower is the concrete cloverleaf.
—Lewis Mumford
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Your reality, sir, is lies and balderdash and I'm delighted to say that I
have no grasp of it whatsoever.
—Baron Munchausen